I started this blog to explain Nicholas' disease. The heart breaking story of what a whole family went through. The 'untold' story. I will try to post daily. I remember some dates of the actual event. Most are likely to be rounded of to the best of my knowledge. Writting is something I enjoy, although I may not be good at it. I like to express my feeling on paper, or in the case a screen. Enjoy!
7/19/2010
I remember it was such a hot day! We spent the day at mum's pool. Since I had been on a modified bed rest because of severe placenta previa swimming was one of the approved things to do. As well as relaxing on the deck getting a tan. I felt something crawling one me. Just as I was about to swat it away I realized it was a baby butterfly! My eyes filled with tears and I smiled, oh did I smile. I shouted LOOK EVERYONE! Stefanie is here!!! Always being told angels were butterfly's I truly believed my daughter was with us. We had many butterfly encounters this past year. Including one in mid-November! (part of another story to come) Anyhow, I was quick enough to snap a picture of her before she flew away. If you're friends with me on facebook it is under my mobile uploads. That day ended pretty well, or did it?
After spending the whole day at the pool it was time to go home and unwind. Anthony had asked me if I wanted a peach tea at Sheetz? Of course I did I lived on them while pregnant. It was still so hot even at 10:30 at night, Christian and I decided to go along with him. Everything was going well, heading home, feeling tired and a bit sore from a little sun burn, had my tea. We talked about baby Nicholas' arrival, he was scheduled to meet us in about three weeks. Boy did he have different plans! I just put Christian down for the night and being 34 weeks pregnant the restroom was my favorite place! Make a quick break before bed. I could hear a trickle and I thought there is no way I am STILL peeing! Before even thinking to grab a piece of toilet paper I reached my hand under myself and when I looked my heart stopped and the first thing I did was scream for Anthony! I was bleeding a lot, not just spotting like I had been for the past 2 months. It was as if someone turned a facet on inside of me. He grabbed my phone and called the doctor. I was so proud of him I was panicking and he was so calm. Doctor told him to get me to the hospital as fast as possible. I grabbed a bath towel from the cupboard, folded it into 4 and stuffed it into my shorts. The hospital where my doctor was is at least a 20 minute drive going the speed limit. Anthony got me there in 8 minutes! I called the most important people my cousin (other mum) and my father. Texted a few people as well (Courtney and Kylie) (Mum had texted me while we were hurdling down Route 65, and I remember saying I'm contracting), it was complete gibberish because my hands were shaking so much, I was petrified! Got to the hospital they were waiting, threw me in a bed and started hooking me up to machines. Baby Nicholas looked great. They attempted to get an IV in me but I had lost so much blood my veins were mush. Remember that towel? It is now soaked with blood, what was once light blue was now bright red. I remember I started to black out. The nurse kept says don't close your eyes, stay with me, look at me. I just wanted to go to sleep. My body went hot, cold, sweating, muffled hearing and blurry vision. After some oxygen and a few slaps on the hands I came back to. Dr. Ciocca had been there and said that was scary for a second. We have to deliver you now. You have either lost too much blood or had an anxiety attack. Either way my poor Dr. Ciocca was delivering yet another one of my premature babies, praying along side of us to let this one live. It was so fast! One minute I'm being stuck 10 times to find a vain for not only medications, and a possible blood transfusion. Wheeled into surgery, a different room I thought. This one was much smaller than the last. The nurse popped her head in and announced that life flight was three minutes away (for baby). I don't remember anything else because I once again passed out for a minute or two.
7/20/2010 12:20am
The next thing I remember was the sound of my Nicholas crying. I cried and cried and said out loud many times Thank You Lord. Thank You. And then only being concerned about how big he was lol. I asked several times, which made everyone laugh. Finally, I head. "mom 4lbs 6ozs doing fantastic, you have a stubborn one!" I said yeah I know. My family stood outside watching and oh and ahing. 'My other dad' stood by the recovery room, arms folded making sure I was okay, such a good dad!
Little Nicholas gave the doctors, nurses and life flight team a run for their money! They tried for a half hour to put an IV in him, he would not stay still. So he headed to Pittsburgh with nothing. He was doing so well he really didn't need it. They waited for me to come out of recovery (longest 45 minutes of my life!) so I could see him, the pilot wanted to get in the air because thick fog was rolling in. We saw Nicky for a few minutes I was able to touch him, while my other mum snapped a million pictures. Nick was on his way. Later that night I got a call from the West Penn NICU Nick was doing great! Required no oxygen. She'd call me in the morning after they check him more.
7/20/2010
What night! Just given birth. Still completely numb from the spinal given a few hours ago, but yet feeling contractions. Oh my goodness they were bad! I said I already had the baby, why are you contracting!!! I was still numb and felt horrible contractions, I can't imagine what they would have been like had I not had the medications still active. I requested another shot of pain medication. Finally fell asleep when the phone started ringing it was my family to congratulate me! I talked to everyone about how beautiful he was. Texted pictures to everyone as well. Then ended the evening with my family.
7/21/2010
I'm going home no matter what you say! Oh, that's right. If doc wasn't going to release me I was going to sign out AMA! My baby was in Pittsburgh and we're loosing precious bonding time. He said okay I'll let you go. But promise me you will not walk through that hospital! We shook on it and he said after lunch you can go. If I could do a cartwheel I would have, but just having a c-section burping hurt! So I said woooo lol. We had a beautiful family lunch, they even provided for Christian. We are a family we all eat together. I stuffed my face as quickly as possible. Grabbed my bags and hit the road! Christian went to play with Tarah, Aiden and Giuls and we headed to Pittsburgh. Luckily we still had Kylie's GPS and didn't get lost. I received a phone call from a nurse in the NICU, just to update me on Nick. I let her know we were in route and would be there in about an hour. She was shocked they let me go and that I was on my way down so soon after a c-section. What shocked me is that she was shocked. Why wouldn't I be on my way? I'm surely not going home to relax while my baby is in the hospital. So, I had to make another promise to not walk through the hospital. I didn't walk I promise!
We made it. Anthony ran through the halls, all while I sat in the wheel chair thinking wow didn't we just go though this death ride a coupe days ago lol. When you get to the NICU you have to be beeped in and then scrubbed up! Scrub for three minutes with an alcohol based soap and very scratchy brushes. Wash come on 3-2-1 THREE MINUTES! There he was. I can't believe it. I'm a mom again. He was just beautiful. So tiny. The nurse said do you want to hold him? Yes, of course. She wrapped him up, put a cap on his head and he made very light cooing sounds. At last. I'm meeting my son for the first time. I was over come with such JOY! I can't believe he is finally here, after losing Stefanie, having a very scary pregnancy and life threatening delivery Nicholas Anthony Moser is here. Such love. A mother to two awesomely perfect boys, can life get any better? Stay tuned to find out!
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