Pin Fail!

I like to consider myself a "frugal" person. Things that are homemade with just a few ingredients I already have on hand really spark my interest. So when I come across things like homemade finger paint for example, I get pretty exited! The main ingredients are salt, flour, water and a squirt of food coloring. Simple enough, even I couldn't screw this up, righ? Wrong, of course I can find a way to screw this up!

So to start I should have taken pictures to document, truth be told I didn't think about writing my failed attempt at making finger paint during that time. But thinking of my blog and the half a dozen failed attempts at being frugal and homemade, I've failed quite a few of them. So forgive my lack of pictures for this one.

So after reading how "simple" this was I ran to my kitchen to grab what was needed. Flour, salt, food coloring and some mustard and ketchup bottles I picked up at Wal-mart for .75, knowing I'd have a use for then eventually. Plus with two boys who have a bottle obsession in the bath tub. Anyhow, I decided to allow Nicholas to help me with this project, after all it was for him. I gave him the job of opening the packages on the bottles, which he did it about 5 seconds. Yet another fail, I hoped he would keep busy for at least 3 minutes while I set up the table. I then realized I didn't have enough salt, why do I use so much salt? This is just a heart attack waiting to happen! I also figured a whole cup of flour, salt and water was not going to fit into a how ever many ounces this bottle is (not labeled, what else is new). So I cut them all in half, a 1/2 cup instead of a whole cup. To my surprise it all fit, yay! I also need to note on how incredibly hard it was getting the flour into the bottle! I though a funnel would be the way to go, nope. Flour was not going to budge! So I poured it in and added a little extra since I pretty much dumped most of it on the table! Then added the water. Shake shake shake.....It doesn't sound like liquid anymore.....Add more water! Shake shake shake. All while it's pretty much shaking out of the lid and going God knows where all over my home. Yes I covered the end, but it's got a pretty crappy seal. Now understanding why they were so cheap!

Take a look at the contents....Seems legit....Add food coloring.....CAREFULLY shake this time haha! At this point it was mostly pancake batter thick, so nothing spewed out of the bottle, thank goodness! Super proud of myself I decide to give my homemade finger paint a try, on paper. Not eat, I'm not that gross! Squeeze.....Nothing....Shake, squeeze, nothing....Oh you've got to be kidding me.....Squeeze harder! SPLAT! There we go! Oh such a pretty blue, I may have over did it on the food coloring. Okay this stuff is pretty cool, I thought. Until another clog, shake, squirt, clog. Oh come on, really!!!

During this time my two year old is into the flour! Having way more fun with that than he would any kind of homemade finger paint! Then I realize he's also got his hands on a bottle of food coloring, oh crap! I was able to rescue that from the two year old death grip, and then lose all hearing for an hour from the glass shattering scream he let out! Flour easy to clean, neon blue food coloring? I can't imagine if would ever come out of the carpet! And at this rate I should be deaf anyhow!

Okay, so basically what I ended up with was a runny, salty mess! I wasted all my salt, hopefully a popcorn desire doesn't strike any time before I can head to the store, and you and I both know I'll forget it every time I go to the store for he next few weeks. I think the lesson learned is to not mix it IN the bottle intended for squirting. Next time (if there so be a next :) I'll be mixing in a bowl, with a wisk, and into the bottle!

I have a great laugh reading failed attempt blogs at Pinterest crafts. So when I had a major fail I had to blog it!

Love, Melissa <3

Just random thoughts....

When I'm feeling lost, worried or upset I often turn to someone to talk to. I can't always find that person who is willing to listen. It's not that they don't want to, it's just they don't have the time. I sometimes feel like I'm being a bother. But the truth is I hurt. In just a few days we'll be celebrating what would be Stefanie's third birthday. I guess we're not really celebrating, as we're morning her death. It leaves me feeling so empty. My arms still ache, my heart still pounds at the very thought of the day we said goodbye and I watched them walk away with her. I can still feel her skin and the smell of her hair. Even the blankets still have the new baby smell. I love that smell. Such a sweet smell, it's indescribable. I almost never wanted to wash my newborn's hair.  One thing that has always hit me was the sound of a helicopter. As I laid there waiting to hear a cry, I could hear the helicopter landing. Thinking okay they're here, they're going to get her to a better hospital. Everything is going to be alright. But nobody had the look of "alright". Sometimes when I hear a helicopter I get kind of teary eyed, I wonder if the person is going to be alright, or if it's someones baby. I think many people can relate to that sound. I remember my mum telling me a story about it once, when I told her how I feel when I see or hear one.

As I sit here thinking of the words to write my heart beats faster, I have thoughts going in each direction. I'm trying to keep the tears from flowing. I hate this feeling. I've had a head ache everyday for the past three days. At first I blamed the sudden change in weather, but I think it's stress.

Every single day I wake up knowing I'm missing one less person. I can't do anything about it, I have to just keep going. I remember people telling me it would get easier, and it has gotten easier. It still feels like a fresh cut. It's starting to heal. I sometimes wish there were more understanding people. And that is what brings me to when I feel I'm becoming a bother. Sometimes I get the feeling of being pushed away. And I don't think the person is trying to push me away, as they don't know what to say. I'm not really looking for any words in specific, mostly just a shoulder to cry on.  Reminds me of this Poem:

I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes, uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.


Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.


I get funny looks wearing these shoes, they are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.


To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.


I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.


No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

I don't know who wrote it. My good friend Tyann tagged me in this post a couple years ago.  She may not know this, but I read it often. I also like to think her daughter and Stefanie are best of friends. Just as their mommies are on earth. Unlike some people Tyann understands everything I write or have to say. As well as my other fellow momma loss good friend, Megan. They both often know the perfect thing to say that helps me get through this. It helps these "shoes" better to walk in. Also for my "other mom" she's never been there, but she knows what to do and say.

I'm reading over what I'm writing and it doesn't sound perfect it's a lot of jumble. But that is the rate of my brain racing right now. I have been short with everyone lately. I don't mean to be. I've turned people away who want to listen. So this is my public apology to anyone that I've been rude to or given the cold shoulder to in these past few days. I am truly sorry.

I have learned something in these past few years. That no matter what the sun still rises and sets everyday as if nothing ever happened. People still go on with their lives as I was told they would. And I have been able to move on with my life, as they said I would. I'm grateful for everything I have and every single person in my life.

There was a part of today that made me suddenly stop! I got so flustered and just lost my train of thought. I thought oh my God, what's today's date?! Did I miss it? Please tell me it's not the 9th and I missed her birthday! It was like I slammed into brick wall! I've been so consumed in worrying about everything going on, what we're going to do that day, not to forget to get balloons for our memorial launch. I quickly grabbed my phone and was relieved it was only the 4th. I don't know what made me suddenly think it's the 9th or past the 9th. It was strange!

Now that the weather is changing we're able to spend more time outside. Which I just love!! Nicholas is talking more and has become more independent and it's a pleasure to have a toddler around.  Christian is growing at such a fast rate! He told me yesterday he think he needs deodorant LOL! He even made me smell him!!! I'm happy to report he hasn't hit that stage yet and I believe he must have been smelling someone else, because it was not him lol. He is ready to grow up. But luckily for me it will be a few more years before any of this happens!!! Both the boys are doing well, Nick has been fracture free since March, no jinx!!! Chris will have some dental work next month to fix a defective tooth, they said it's likely it didn't form correctly. They're going to try and save it and hopefully avoid a root canal, I hope. That would require surgery and he's never gone under before, so it will have me a bit nervous. It's never easy to hand your baby over for surgeries. Neither of my boys have ever had any sort of major surgeries, but I've had to hand them over a few times for serious tests. It's a very tense sit and wait. Fingers crossed all goes well and we leave happy.

As I was hoping I'd feel better after writing a blog and what do you know, it worked! I often tell people to blog it's so easy and helps get things off your shoulders. Anyhow, thanks for reading my rant and helping me feel better! Remember Sunday (May 6th) is Wishbone Day. Wear yellow to support Nick and everyone living with OI. Also, tag or text me a picture of you wearing yellow :)

With love, Melissa.

Vinager....Not only for fries!

I came across some other blogs talking about homemade cleaning products. In this day and age almost everyone is making things homemade. From laundry soaps, fabric softeners, baby wipes and cleaning products. When I read that vinegar was a natural disinfectant I was intrigued. My first thought was how I almost always have a gallon of this stuff under my kitchen sink. Which is strange considering I almost never used vinegar, until I started making homemade fabric softener. Which by the way is totally awesome! I haven't bought a bottle of Downy for months! Other than getting free samples in the mail, I use my homemade stuff with every wash. That will be blog another time.

I'll admit when it comes to household cleaners I'm a total hoarder! I have them all (we close to it). If you open my cabinet above my stove you'll find easily 20 different types of cleaners. I honestly don't know why I have so many. Usually my reasons for buying a new kind is because the last didn't impress me. Or someone is complaining that the house smells like a forest, and we're not bears haha! So it's time for me to kick the cleaning products obsession and start using this all natural cleaner. Which is simply equal parts water and vinegar. I actually have a bottle of this made up that I used while cleaning my walls to prep for paint. I had to wrestle the vinegar off Christian, that boy loves vinegar and will drink it given the chance.....did you mouth just fill with saliva?

I picked the bathroom to try this out on. Mainly the floor. Not that it's utterly filthy, but it's been a week since I've given the floor a good wash. I also would like to mention that I've kicked the paper towel habit. I started chopping up old holey t-shirts as cleaning rags. Paper towels aren't that horribly expensive, but I always run out when I need them most and it's a pretty big waste of money. Just throwing it away, to sit in a land fill for God knows how long. Are they biodegradable? I doubt it! I cleaned out Christian's pajama drawer a month or so ago. Getting rid of anything too small or stained so much, thus why it landed in the pajama drawer. I chopped them up into about 30 rags. Tossed them into an empty wipes container and voila, pop up clean wipes at my reach! After I use them they [used] to soak in the sink in some hot bleachy water, and then washed. Now they'll disinfect in some vinegar water! Saving money and the earth by recycling....I feel so proud of myself :)

I wish I would have taken before and after pictures, because I was so totally impressed! Even if I craved salad, fries and German potato salad the whole time I wiped down the bathroom floor. It really sparkled! I'm very impressed! Tomorrow I'll do my kitchen floors, counter and mirrors. Cleaning mirrors with vinegar and wiping with news paper for a streak free shine, is something I've always known about. But have done maybe once!

I've also read that cleaning with tea-tree oil is also great! It is a natural disinfectant as well. However I know it's a bit pricy. I price checked a bottle at Target and it wad $6 for 2ozs. So that's something I may or may not try.

Nice kitchen. If your a DUCK!

We're doing some remodeling of our house. Little things like fresh paint, carpeting and fixing up stuff. Our house is OLD and my father in law didn't take great care of if before we lived here. So we're constantly fixing little things. And sadly these little things could have been avoided had they had a little TLC by him. He's shocked that $2.50 could have saved him $300 o.O

In the spring we have to redo the outside steps because winter took a nasty toll on them, then my son and his friends broke the railing. Which is pretty simple since it's metal it can be welded back together. However the cement steps have to wait until we're over the snow in the spring.

Two days ago we got a nasty clog in the bathtub, suddenly we sprung a leak!!! I originally thought one of Nick's extremely thin wash rags had sucked down the drain. I was relieved to find out that it was not a rag, or if it was the snake pushed it down the drain. Either way it's draining and we're not taking a bath while showering!!! And those baby rags have been throw away! The second time IS NOT a charm in this case!

The worst part of the clog? It was raining in my kitchen! Would have made life easier had the water been an actual water pipe, but no it had to be a drain pipe that was leaking, well throwing water all over my kitchen! We called a plumber that night, and they wanted $350 just to show up! Forget that and we set up buckets and trash cans to collect the water. Not even thinking that the heavy water would cause the ceiling to buckle. We lost about 6 of the 14 tiles in the ceiling. Oh it gets better (probably thinking how?). When the plumber came to snake my drain, he had to go into the ceiling to find the leak, which meant cutting through the floor boards!!!! So now there is a lovely hole about the size of a teenager! But the leak is stopped and we no longer shower in the kitchen ha! Luckily we can easily fix it and replace the ceiling tiles. We made a trip to Lowe's to check out prices on the tiles. We'll try one more home improvement store before we buy them. We need to allow the ceiling to dry before we hang them, so we have a little time to shop around. I climbed up there today and felt around and it feels nice and dry, which is a huge relief, because I was terrified of mold!


For the past month or so I have been picking up little paint sample cards of colors I might like. I brought them home, tape them to the wall and look at it every time I walk into the room. I hung 5. I like to see it in different lighting. Wither it be sun light, sun set, haven't seen it during a sun rise, and night. So far I haven't really fallen in love with any of the colors I have hung up. Today I brought home a couple new ones, I'm starting to fall in love with one of them! So it's definitely on the yes list. Then again in my opinion neon yellow is better than the boring, cold feeling white wall we have now! I hate white walls, so impersonal and cold feeling. Hopefully within the next few weeks that will change! I invited my cousin (other mum) to a painting party, just the two of us, maybe dad too. I'm sure we can paint the entire room in one day.

The one thing that I have been really racking my brain about is deciding on carpet or fake hard wood flooring. I really like the look of hard wood, the easy clean up. I have two young boys, a dog and a father in law that drops just about everything on the carpet.. I'm starting to get tired of scrubbing. My carpet scrubber used to live in the basement and make an appearance every few months for a regular cleaning. Once Nicholas started crawling around we started scrubbing more often, especially when I saw him lick the carpet once! Yuck! Sure it's been cleaned, but people walk on it! Anyhow, the scrubber is usually sitting in the corner of my dining room because I use it constantly! Thank goodness for the small attachment! So that being said I'd love the convenience of using a paper towel and cleaner and being done in 2 minutes. But once again I wonder how well it will hold the heat since it gets rather chilly in our living room (very large room). Plus, I fear will it be too hard on Nicholas? Researching the prices it will cost around the same, so money really doesn't play a factor in our decision. I need to save money because we are doing all this on a budget.

And lastly I'd really like to re-grout my bathtub tiles. Which seems super easy! And pretty cheap. I'm sure I can do it myself after doing some research online and talking to both my dad and other dad (cousin).

Thanks for reading! Hopefully we can do this all on a small budget. And I'm really excited about making my home more personal. I saw some great art today that would look great in the living room. Yes, I get excited over the little things :)